


For you I'd risk it all.

by skyblue993



Series: Jonnor Travels The World. [2]
Category: The Fosters (TV 2013), The Fosters (TV 2013) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Boys In Love, Christmas Fluff, Drama, Established Relationship, Fluff, Jonnor - Freeform, M/M, winter vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-08-23 23:10:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8346439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyblue993/pseuds/skyblue993
Summary: Jude and Connor spend their Christmas break at Taylor's parents chalet in St. Moritz along with her boyfriend and friends.All we're chasing is the sunset's sequel.





	1. Chapter 1.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, awesome people! 
> 
> So this one is All We're Chasing is the sunset's follow up but I think it can be read as a stand-alone as well.  
> Title comes from the song: "E.T" by Katy Perry.
> 
> I know it's a bit early for Christmas fanfics but to be fair this takes place ten days before Christmas so.. I'll take a while before we get to Christmas day :) 
> 
> Enjoy, this ride.

“Oh come on, you two. Seriously?!"

Jude closed his eyes shut as he leant even further into Connor's strong arms, whom was was luckily willing to keep him upright.  
_Damn fucking hangover._

"You two should be jumping all over the place! Our vacation is about to finally start !"

"I know, Taylor... And I am! I am Thrilled, enthusiastic, enraptured, on the edge of my seat, that we're spending Christmas together at your parent's chalet."

Taylor's heart eyes made Connor chuckle for a moment, that until a sharp pain hit in right in his skulls.

"Fuck."

Jude sighed as he cupped his boyfriend's cheeks before gently pressing their lips together.

He was well aware that the power of his kisses wouldn't most likely heal the headache away, but it always made him smile in that tender way everytime their lips met so it was definitely better than nothing.

"What the hell is going on with you two?"

"Hangover." Jude replied as he let out a breathless moan of distress. "I'm dying."

"You're not." Connor said with low voice. _"I am dying!"_

"You're not! You can't die.." Jude mumbled against his shirt, shaking his head as in denial. "You can't die, I need you. Who's gonna make me those delicious pancakes? Or home made pizza! And who's gonna make me that delicious creamy coffee with choco pops on top ?"

Taylor frowned. "That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard."

Connor rolled his eyes as he murmured into Jude's hair, smelling good like the shampoo they've bought a week before, the one lotus blossoms's scented.

"So do you only need me for cooking supplies? Gotcha."

"No." Jude giggled as he laid a tender kiss right on the pulsing vein on Connor's neck. "More than that! Like, no one makes me laugh as you do."

"And no one makes you come as I do."

A brief silence fell on them at Connor's assertion, Jude broke it two seconds later by snorting slightly.

"Connor, what the.."

"I know, um.. blame it on hangover. You know, forty percents of the things I'm saying right now might not have a logical sense."

"Okay." Jude conceded, a cheeky grin spreading across his lips as he whispered softly into his ear. "But that was true by the way."

"Ugh.." they both turned around when an amused snort was heard . " Is There a way to unglue the two of you? The croissant I've just eaten it's travelling back from the pit of my stomach to my mouth in this exact moment."

Jude pulled away from Connor who made a wounded sound at the immediate lack of physical proximity caused by Jude's body keeping him warm.  
Taylor shook her head as she kept flipping through the pages of her magazine with a roll of her eyes.

"You two are disgustingly sweet.." she laughed quietly as she raised one eyebrow at them. "I'm starting to regret this _'Let's celebrate Christmas together._ ' thing.”

Connor rolled his eyes as he sat down on one of the super uncomfortable chairs of the airport waiting area.  
Taylor's boyfriend, Nick, greeted him with a small smile, dislodging his gaze for one second from his twitter feeds when Connor suddenly pulled Jude by his hand, landing onto his lap with a loud shriek.

"She has a point, you know? We are disgustingly sweet." Jude laughed when Connor's nose pressed against his hair, inhaling sharply through his nose.  
_Man, he was obsessed with that shampoo._

"Well, guess what?"

"What?" Jude leant against his chest, intertwining their fingers together on Jude's lap.

_"I don't give a fuck."_

 

 

After almost fourteen hours of plane ride and three hours of bus ride, The four of them were basically walking zombie as they all followed Taylor through the middle of a snow trail that was leading the way to her parent's chalet.

"We're almost there."

Jude couldn't help but sigh. _Almost._ Like ten minutes before and twelve minutes before that...

"God if you're up there please listen to our prayers and let us finally find the way to our beds."

Jude panted, knowing for sure that he was going drop his suitcase and sleep right there in the middle of the snow, covering the whole territory.

Connor's eyes were red and puffed, almost hopeful as he breathed out.  
"Hey I can see lights over there!"

"Those are _stars,_ Connor! ”

Connor groaned as he wiped some sweat falling down his forehead. He was tired and hungry and sleepy. He wanted to sleep, so damn much.

"Okay, Sorry! It's fucking three in the morning and we're wandering in the middle of nowhere." Connor rolled his eyes as he leant in to whisper in Jude's ear.  
"Are you sure she knows where she's going?"

Taylor stopped abruptly, jerking around with red blooded eyes, glaring right at Connor.

The look on Taylor's face promised no good, and God, what the hell happened to her hair? It looked like a freaking bird nest..

"Connor. Dear, Connor Stevens. I love you, you're basically my best friend's third lung so If you want to experience the outdoor jacuzzi I suggest you to follow me and Jeez, Unstick yourself from Jude before he rolls down the ski hill along with his suitcase ! It's three am and I need to sleep! I need my beauty sleep, so if all of you can cut the crap with this commentary and just let me concentrate I'd be forever grateful! Got it?!"

They could do nothing but nod, the three of them.

_"Perfect. Now move your asses."_

  
"Oh my.."

"That's spectacular."

"I've never seen something like this in my entire life."

Taylor smiled, smugness and pride flashing across her features as she looked up, staring for the longest moment at the cabin just before their eyes.

It was not just the cabin, per se, it was.. the whole picture that took their breath away.  
The building, or house, with a lack of better words --because that was definitely not a cabin-- looked like one of those right out of a Christmas movie classic.  
It was a two story house, completely made of wood and with a balcony that overlooked the Ski slopes. It was enormous and with a very cute hip roof where a Chimney could be seen.

Jude was speechless, the only thing missing was Santa descending through it.

" Taylor, how in the world is this a cabin? _It's a fucking mansion._ "  
Connor asked her with mouth completely agape and a dumbfounded look on his face. Taylor smiled, tired and happy that they could finally start their well deserved vacation.

"I missed this place so much. Come on." She faced the three boys standing right behind her with startled eyes and mouth widely open at the sight before their eyes.

"Let's go inside."

 

 

"Okay. This is a suite." Jude commented as he threw himself on the massive bed. Connor laughed as he unzipped his suitcase.

"You're still wearing clothes."

Jude smiled as he let his eyelids to fall close. "You're right, I should wear my pjs."

"Um.. I haven't mentioned to you to wear _any,_ though."

Jude peeked at Connor's face with one eyes opened, meeting Connor's tempting gaze. _His boyfriend, people..._

"You'll have to do all the work for this one. I'm so so tired..."

Connor smiled as he laid on the bed, onto his stomach, right next to Jude.  
"Hey.." his finger threaded into Jude's hair as he waited for his boyfriend to open his eyes.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to see something cool?"

Jude nodded as he got up, following his boyfriend out to the balcony.

"Whoa."

Connor hugged him from behind, resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder.

"I know."

The sun was rising, peeking from behind those huge mountains and lighting up the peaks with his weak rays.

"That's beautiful." Jude turned around, facing Connor into his arms, meeting his sleepy, yet still wonderful smile.

"You're missing the best part."

"No I'm not." Jude shook his head as he leant into his arms.

Their eyes met and nothing mattered more in that moment, not the dawn or the freezing air of the early morning..

"I love you, Connor."

There was nothing in the world that made Connor's heart pound harder inside of his chest than those words and that boy.

"I love you too."

Jude's cheeks tinged pink before closing the gap between their lips as a new day was about to start.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The sun’s beaming through the huge wooden window makes him open his eyes and the first thing he sees to Jude’s absolute pleasure is Connor’s face.  
Jude can’t help it. Yes, he's gotten used to wake up next to an Adonis since the beautiful days of the cruise but Jude still finds himself breathless from the way it always makes him feel just Like he's living an ever lasting dream.

He spends some minutes staring at the soft puffs of breaths coming off Connor’s lips and he finds himself being lured by the way Connor’s chest lifts and falls slightly by his soft snores. He smiles as he snuggles against Connor’s chest like a kitten seeking for attention and his happy grin gets even wider when Connor’s arm comes to slide across his back, pulling him firm right where he knows he belongs.

He closes his eyes as he rests his head against Connor’s solid chest, falling asleep few minutes later lulled by the rocking beats of his heart.

When Connor wakes up and his eyes are immediately drawn to the sleeping boy in his arms, a smile creeps over his lips without even realizing.

“Good morning..” Jude’s eyes are firmpy shut and Connor can’t help but press his lips against Jude’s cheek at the relaxed look flashing across his face.

“Good morning to you,” Connor replies with a soft voice, followed by a low chuckle caused by Jude’s face nuzzling his neck.

  
There’s nothing in this world that Connor wants more.

His cheeks turn pink when Jude moves his body in a way to be completely pressed against Connor and then he feels it.

Jude smiles knowingly against his neck, lifting a hand to lace it behind Connor’s scalp while his lips start running down his collarbone, leaving impossibly soft kisses all over his boyfriend’s deliriously warm skin.

“Someone’s up,” Connor comments through a breathless laugh as he unconsciously, or maybe not, rubs his hips against the friction.

“Yeah.. um, there’s definitely someone in needs of attention..”

Connor moans as Jude’s hand reaches for his own and the shit head moves it downwards, his breath hot and frisky whispering into his ear with absolute mischief filling his voice.

“You should totally do something about it.”

#####

 

 

Connor suggests to go out for a walk, just the two of them and Jude happily nods his head.

He looks forward, actually to throws some snowballs whenever Connor lets his guard down.

“You fucker.” Connor hisses through grittet teeth, his back straightening up as he’s being hit by a snowball by the traitor that's currently laughing his ass off. Connor can’t possibly be mad at him, infact he can't help himself but follow him along because Jude’s always beautiful but when he smiles.. he’s just the most perfect thing he’s ever laid his eyes on.

But that doesn't mean he can't give the shithead a taste of his own medicine..

“Oh.. you’re so gonna pay for this!” Connor promises with voice barely threatening. Jude tries to make a frightened face but he really can’t. The smile keeps tugging his lips up. It’s against his own control.

Jude’s happy beyond belief to be here with Connor... his friends, obviously. He’s not forgetting they’re here thanks to Taylor but it’s still nice, spending some time alone with Connor... besides, he doesn’t think Taylor mind since she was still asleep in her boyfriend’s arms when he’s gone to check on them, earlier.

“Come here, you idiot.”

Jude walks backward with a mischievous smile on his face, an eyebrow arching up with not so innocent intentions.

“Catch me if you can.” He gives a breathless laugh Before he starts running towards a small hill, not too far away from them.

Connor shakes his head as he chases his boyfriend, catching him (because of course he does.) and bringing him down in the copious snow with him.

“Fuck. I think I got snow in my pants.” Jude still manages to give a bright laugh despite being crashed just slightly by Connor’s body lying on top of them. None of them give the slightest indication to move so they seem more intentioned to take advantage of the romantic, yet so clichè, moment.

“Last time I checked you got fire in your pants.”

Jude looks at him with eyes blown wide, a half smirk quirking up ,that he tries to fight back by biting his lip.

“You did not just say that.”

“I did,” Connor confesses with shame filling his voice. That line was terrible, even for him!

“Oh my God!” Jude gasps, followed by a strangled laugh. He raises his eyes to the sky, mumbling under his breath,"What Have I gotten myself into?" Before addressing to Connor as he shakes his head in disappoint. "Thank God you’re pretty.”

Connor pouts as he buries his face against the crook of his boyfriend's neck. “There must have been some other qualities that conquered your heart.”

“Meh...” Jude shrugs. “I kind of like your eyes and your mouth’s not that bad. You're a great masseur and on a scale to ten You’re a six in bed.”

Connor’s eyes snaps up, glaring into Jude’s amused eyes. Crushed and burned. "A six?!”

Jude rolls his eyes. “Okay. I’ll give you an eight bec—“

“I’m sorry but I’ll only accept a ten from you.”

“Someone’s humble.”

“Someone’s lying.” Connor sasses back.

Jude raises his eyebrow as he gives a chuckle, a significant look being thrown to Connor's south pole. “Someone’s poking me.”

Connor smirks, taking the ball in his court. Well he's been busted so there's no need to deny his intentions. “Someone should suck my dick behind that tree.”

Jude rolls his eyes but he rolls then over. Connor lands on his back anyway and Jude climbs on top of him with look of awe flashing across his eyes.

“Maybe I should suck your dick here, in the middle of the snow.”

“So romantic,” Connor whispers with dreamy eyes and a hint of a laugh in his voice. He's totally on board with anything involving his dick being taken care of, after all.

Jude smiles as he reaches for the first button of his jeans.

 #####

The first three days are a complete bliss of happiness and fun. Jude feels like he’s floating in a bubble of perfection. But we all know that the bubble’s meant to burst at some point, right?

His bubble bursts when he reaches for his favourite sweater in Connor’s suitcase and finds a blue velvet box beneath a pile of shirts.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter one past tense will be fixed to present tense in a matter of days. (as soon as I have some free time lol) Bear with me.
> 
> Now... enjoy the drama and fluff :D

"Babe? You in there?” Jude’s holding the velvet box on shaky hands and let it drop back into the suitcase as soon as he hears Connor’s voice breaking the train of his thoughts.

“Y-yeah.” Jude replies with a raw groan coming off his lips. He mentally makes a quip to get it together before Connor notices that he’s totally freaking out as he puts it back under the pile of shirts. Connor appears into the room with a relaxed smile on his face.

“Hey. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“Oh.” Jude exhales sharply, his eyes big and questioning locking with Connor’s.

Pull yourself together, Jesus.

“Were you looking for me?”

Connor raises his eyebrow at the stupid question while Jude mentally curses himself for his awkwardness. “Yeah..” Connor frowns. “I literally just told you.”

Jude gives a low chuckle as he rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah. I forgot.”

Connor’s frown gets, even more, accentuate as he asks. “Is everything okay?”

Air’s been swallowed out of his lungs as cold sweat starts running down his forehead. He’s totally winning the “Fucked up man of the year.” Jude’s sure of it.

“Yeah! Sure! Why are you asking that? Everything is fine.” Jude keeps blabbering as a strangled laugh that can only be described as hysterical leaves his lips.

“Everything is super fine,” Jude promises with a strained smile on his lips as he tries to avoid eye contact with Connor’s.  
“Oh! Speaking of looking for someone. Um. Taylor! Yeah, I should probably...”

Connor’s startled eyes never leave Jude’s pained face as he goes on on his insane rambling.

“I should probably catch up with her. You know... bro before hoes.." He trails off with a groan, muttering a not so very subtle 'what the fuck am I saying.' under his breath before slapping his hand on his forehead before rushing to say. "It's not like I’m implying you’re a hoe, of course!” God the chaos in his head, right now. “Just—you know how she gets without our special time together.”

“Okay,” Connor replies calmly despite the evident Shock on his face.

“I’ll see you later. Bye. Love you.” Jude walks out of the room quick as a lightning bolt before stepping back in to leave a soft kiss on Connor’s cheek, still dumbfounded by the nonsense he’s been feeding him for the last ten minutes.

He goes searching for Taylor and hears Connor muttering to himself: “What the fuck just happened?”

Jude can't blame him. He still has to figure out what happened himself.

Jude finds Taylor in the kitchen washing some cups in the sink. He approaches her from behind and he should have probably announced his presence.

“Tay.”

Taylor jerks around with eyes wide, a huge startled gasp leaving her lips. “Jude! You startled me to death.”

“I’m sorry.”

Taylor notices immediately that there’s something off with him so she exhales slowly before telling him. “Something happened with Connor.”

That’s not a question but Jude nods his head anyway.

  
They’re sitting on the floor resting with their back against the couch. The fireplace provides a welcome source of warmth in the cold room, a nice contraposition from the snowflakes falling outside. But that’s not what’s causing the raging blush to spread across Jude's cheeks.

“I was looking for a sweater in Connor’s suitcase and I found a box.”

Taylor listens to him, raising an eyebrow as a dubious look flashes across her features.  
“Um. Jude, love. I know you’re not a fan of condoms but that’s not enough reason to freak out like that.”

Jude rolls his eyes as he deadpans. “Not that kind of box, you genius! A box, box! A velvet box!”

Taylor’s face crunches adorably as she repeats. “A box...” then her face glows up with joy, her mouth falling open in surprise when the realization hits her. “A b.. oh my God, the box!”

“Exactly!”

“That’s amazing, Jude! Congrats! I’ll be your groomsmaid, okay? That’s not even a request.”

Taylor's shriek of joy could be heard to China. Jude looks at her as she has completely lost her mind. “Okay, first of all, He hasn’t proposed yet. Besides, Don’t you think that’s just rushed?”

“I’m not that surprised, to be honest.” Taylor confesses with bright eyes in her eyes. “Connor clearly loves you more than anything.”

Jude can’t help but blush at Taylor’s sincere words. He can relate. Jude loves him just as much, it’s just... they’ve overcome a huge step that has been the transition from best friends to lovers.

“I know that. I know he loves me and I love him too. God, I don’t know what I would do without him..”

“Then, what’s the problem?”

“I’m scared because I’m not ready to take that step, not yet. We’re still in college and we have the whole life ahead of us.” Jude’s voice breaks into a wrecked sob, burying his face in his hands. “God, why this is happening.”

Taylor lets out a sympathetic sound out of her throat as she lays her tiny hand on Jude’s broad shoulder. “Everything will be okay and if you’re not ready—“

“I’m not.” Jude whines against his hands,” we’re not.”

“Well, Jude I hate to differ.. but he is. He bought you a ring, for God sake.. which speaking of how was it?"

“The hell would I know? I didn’t even open it!”

“Are you dumb?!” Taylor gasps with an outraged edge in her voice. “Why?”

“Because my heart stopped beating for a long moment and.. and Connor came in the room.”

Taylor’s eyebrow arches up in interest. “So you would have opened it.”

Jude’s eyes snap to Taylor’s. “No! I mean.. I don’t know. Probably! I was in the middle of a panic attack, I don’t—“ Jude trails off with a loud groan. Luckily Connor and Taylor’s boyfriend have gone out to fetch groceries and the two of them were left alone. “What would you have done, if you were me?”

Taylor snorts as she admits. “Nick knows I’m not interested in marriage, so he’s smart enough to buy me a necklace for Christmas.”

Jude rolls his eyes. “Oh wow, thanks, Taylor.. you’re a great helper, thank you.”

“You're welcome! But if that makes you feel better, I would tell him how I feel.”

Jude's eyes grow huge as he claps his hands. “That’s it! You’re right! I’ll talk to him as soon as he gets back.”

“Not now, you dummy!” Taylor groans with a roll of her eyes. “Whenever he decides to propose, duh.”

Jude’s eyes go wide. “So should I just live with this anxiety running over my body until he proposes?”

“Exactly.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah... that’s a pretty accurate assessment. ”

  
Connor and Nick come back twenty minutes later and Jude’s heart literally constricts inside of his chest when Connor strides towards him with a huge grin on his face.

“Hey.”

Connor leans in, his forehead resting against Jude’s before he flutters his eyes close.

“Hi.” Jude breathes out, unable to utter more words out. Damn, how is he supposed to last without exploding until Connor proposes?

Connor exhales sharply through his nose before murmuring against Jude’s lips. “I felt like a part of me was missing.”

Jude wants to cry. He literally feels his lips start to tremble at Connor’s reverent tone, it always does when he talks to him like he’s the best thing ever happened to him. It always tears Jude apart with his love.

“I.. me too.”

 

Jude doesn’t want to move upstairs. It’s early, besides he’s being cuddled by the comforting warmth coming from the fireplace.

“I’ll keep you some company, then.”

Jude just looks at his boyfriend in a way that it never fail to make him blush.

Connor usually asks him, voice suddenly bashful and timid, “Why are you looking at me like that?” Jude just shrugs, because there are no appropriate words to describe what he feels for him. It's just too strong.

He always hits him like a freaking tsunami, shaking him right to the core. Connor’s a tornado of happiness, engulfing him before taking everything apart with the force of his smile and kindness and everything that there's good in Connor's whole persona.

“You’re beautiful, Connor.”

“So are you,” Connor replies with emotion filling his voice. He truly sounds like he’s being blessed by Jude’s love and attention. But In Jude's opinion, It's the other way around. Jude’s the lucky one.

They decide to lay down on the floor, snuggled close to each other with a plaid blanket wrapped firmly around the both of them.

Jude feels safer than he’s ever been.

“Jude?”

Jude opens his eyes staring into Connor’s and there’s so much fear in those hazel diamonds that almost take his breath away.

“Yes?”

He hears Connor give a soft breath of air against his neck like a snort or something. Jude can’t tell. He’s too wrapped in the moment and in Connor’s body pressed impossibly close against his own to register anything else.

“What?” Jude asks and Connor shakes his head against the crook of his neck, his damp hair tickling the skin there.

“It’s stupid.” Connor giggles awkwardly. “And probably sap, too.”

Jude can’t refrain the smile forming on his lips as he intertwines his foot with Connor’s. It’s like their bodies are fusing into one. They can’t be any closer than that but yet, they do. “I like sap.”

“Oh please..”Connor snorts as he presses a tender kiss behind Jude’s ear, making him shiver into his arms. “You're totally making a fool of me, afterward.”

Jude rolls his eyes. “You’re hurting my feelings, you ass.”

“Promise, you won’t laugh.”

Jude totally laughs. But he’s not promised anything yet so he’s allowed to laugh, okay?

“Why would I laugh? Jesus, have some faith in me, man.”

Connor’s giggles vibrate against Jude’s skin, raising goosebumps on his skin. “Okay.. well, that’s nothing you already don’t know. I just love you so much, you know? I can’t help but tell you, over and over again.. I can’t possibly let one day go without telling you how much you mean to me, Jude.”

Jude’s heart skips beats at Connor’s absolute perfect words.

Is it happening? Jude wonders. He gapes at air, trying to find the strength to ask... to know for sure, but nothing comes out.

“You don’t have to say anything.” Of course, Connor knows the perfect thing to say.  
God, Jude will be the luckiest man on Earth someday. But he doesn’t feel like it’s going to be anytime soon.  
He’s scared because He wants to spend the rest of his life with Connor, he’s sure of it. It’s just too soon, okay? He’s not ready for that kind of step, not yet.  
He loves Connor with every fiber of his being and he’d be honored to become Jude Stevens. He’s positive that their fate is already written in the stars and it’ll happen, but on due time.

Connor’s tone is calm but Jude can detect that hint of nervousness filling his voice. He wonders what it will sound like when he’ll tell him.. what is he even going to tell him, anyway? Yes but later? Can we reschedule? Or worse... Read at 20.46 pm.

He comes to conclusion that It’ll sound shitty, no matter what.  
God, Connor's going to be devastated and it’s going to be his fault.

“Wow. Um. I want to.. I want to give you a proper and worthy answer to those perfect words but I really can’t, right now. You just short circuit my brain, Con.”

He can hear a satisfied smile in Connor’s voice as he says. “That’s more than an achievement for me.”

Jude softly presses his lips against his own. “What I know is that I love you so much that it hurts. It’s probably unhealthy, the way I feel about you.” Jude feels tears gathering at the corner of his eyes but he fights them back. He’s not gonna cry, not when it's caused by the painful happiness bursting in his chest.

"I can see it in your eyes."

Jude's emotionally overwhelmed at this point and he's aware that he shouldn't probably push things.. but he needs to know. He needs to get this burden off his chest. He can't possibly wait till Connor decides to propose.

"Can I ask you a question?"

He decides to taste the waters. Just a bit.

Connor's curious eyes lock with his own. "Sure. You can ask me anything you want."

Jude inhales sharply through his nose before saying, voice low-pitched and incredibly hesitating. "How do you see yourself in the future?"

He knows he's probably blowing Connor's proposal up but then Connor smiles, warm and with a gaze full of wonder looking at some random point on the ceiling.. like he's getting the perfect picture of how his life is going to be.  
He wets his lips before admitting.

"How I picture myself in the future, you say? mmh.. probably in a big estate with outdoor pool and my sexy hot husband sun tanning because let's just say his skin is incredibly pasty and delicate.  
I Imagine coming home from work and find my husband and yeah... I wouldn't mind one or two kids running around the house.. but what means the most to me is my family, gathered together for dinner, sharing bits about how our day went. I picture myself getting ready for bed and then going to check on our kids, kissing them goodnight and then tuck into bed with my incredible, amazing husband."

"Wow." Jude's eyes are sparkling with bright light and tears. He admits that it's really hard to fight back tears at this point. He realizes he wants the same. He pictures himself so perfectly in Connor's words. He pictures them perfectly. "T-That was very specific."

Connor presses a soft kiss on his lips. "I just know what our future is going to look like."


	4. Chapter 4

Jude looks at Connor's naked form, sleeping beautifully on their bed, the sheets pooled around his waist gives Jude a very endearing view to focus on.

Connor's words still play through his mind like an endless loop.

Connor wants to spend the rest of his life with him. He's started talking about their future, the night before and since then... Jude can't seem to erase those glimpses out of his mind. He sees it perfectly. their future. He can picture fragments of their life together and makes him realize that he wants the exact same thing.  
There's a strange yet pleasant feeling flooding through his chest and filling his stomach.

It's tickling, warm and exciting.

  
_"I'm gonna say yes."_

Taylor almost chokes on the coffee she's currently sipping. Jude sends an apologetical look in her direction. Yeah, He should have probably waited until drop the big bomb, like that.

"Jude.." Taylor beings to say, after cleaned up the mess on the table. "I'm happy for you, guys. I wish you all the best in the world but you've found out about the ring just yesterday, and my friend, you completely freaked out over it."

"I know but I've thought about it and I.. I want that. I want what Connor wants to give me, anything.. _he wants to give me_."

"And you will." Taylor retorts sharply. "I know that Connor is your person, Jude and that you guys are endgame. No one is questioning that."

Jude sighs as he lets Taylor hold him. "You're still in college. Everything will come in due time. Don't rush these things."

"I want him." Jude's voice sounds almost pained as he speaks. "Now and forever. I just want him."

"He is yours." Taylor counters with soft voice, one of her hand gently stroking his hair. "He's gonna be yours for the rest of your days. Nothing will change that."

"Marriage is not always a bed of roses. It's not something be undertaken lightly.. It needs work and commitment and it's something I don't think a couple can put himself through.. not when you are still in college."

"I guess you're right.." Jude sighs with sadness in his voice. "I can't wait for that day, though."

"It's gonna be the best day of your life." 

 

  
Connor has noticed something is off with Jude. He feels the tension spreading through his whole body whenever he holds him or kisses him.. there's something that Jude's not telling him.

Connor's sure of it and he intends to find out what it is.

They're all gathered in the living room, two days before Christmas eve. Taylor has invited a couple of her childhood's friend and they're having a small smores party near the fireplace. They're sitting on the floor, some of them on the couch and they're chatting about mid-terms or Christmas presents when Alicia, one of Taylor's oldest friend, asks Connor the infamous question. "What did you get Jude for Christmas, this year?"

That question elicits a couple of interesting reactions.

Taylor freezes. Her eyes immediately searching for Jude's reaction. Jude blushes, furiously and it doesn't take a genius to figure that he's wishing to be somewhere else in this exact moment.  
Jude's thankful for Connor obliviousness that once again saves his ass from an awkward situation.

Connor chuckles, a bashful smile on his lips as he admits, "I'm not supposed to tell anyone, just yet.. but, I think it's something that will leave Jude flabbergasted."

Connor turns around when he hears a short intake of breath coming from his boyfriend's lips. Jude winces in embarrassment, trying to muff it through a not so convincing cough. Sadly this time The gestures don't go unnoticed by Connor that frowns at the sight of his boyfriend acting funny, once again.

"Can I talk to you?"

Jude nods and lets Connor drag him to the empty kitchen. Connor looks at him with severe expression flashing across his eyes. Jude can detect a bit of concern too into his voice as he asks him, sharp and clearly. "What's wrong?"

Jude's eyes grow huge as he leans against the counter, asking Connor with absolute calm filling his voice. "I don't know what you're talking about.."

"You've been weird and distance in the last few days.." Connor sighs. "Is this too much?"

"W-what? N-No."

"We're spending too much time together and you feel somehow suffocating? I'm the reason why you're acting strange?"

Connor's voice is edgy and filled with hurt as he speaks and that breaks Jude's heart because Connor does nothing but make him feel safer and most loved than he's ever been.

He doesn't want Connor to think that he's the reason of his weird behaviour.. well, in a way he is, but not in the way Connor thinks.

"Never." Jude strides towards Connor and wraps him into a tight hug. He needs to touch skin, to make him know that there's no such a thing as Connor being a problem, on the contrary, he's the medicine that heals him from all the bad things in the world.

"On the contrary... I'm sad we're about to leave in three days.."

Jude doesn't consider this a complete and utter lie because there's a bit of truth in it. Jude's sad they're about to leave in three days and the thought alone of hurting Connor's feelings leave him completely devastated.

Connor lets out a sigh of relief as he leans into Jude's embrace, whispering how much he loves him into his ear.

Jude tangles his fingers through Connor's hair, kissing him on the lips.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Connor's eyes flutter open so slowly as he's just woken up from the most beautiful dream, his voice soft and almost sleepy. "Sure you can."

"It's about your gift.."

Connor grins as he presses a soft kiss on Jude's lips. "No spoilers!"

The playful tone filling Connor's voice makes Jude smile warmly. His boyfriend is a dork. "But..." Connor continues with teasing voice. "I'm feeling kind so I'm willing to answer just one question."

"One question," Jude repeats slowly. Connor nods as he tells him.  
"Yeah. You can ask me whatever you want and I'll answer yes or no."

"Okay." Jude smiles. "Let's do this."

Connor smirks as he takes few steps backward until he's leaning against the counter of the kitchen, dragging Jude along with him.

Jude gulps as he thinks carefully about a question he wants to ask. he doesn't want to make Connor suspicious about the ring so it needs to be something that's quite close to that but not that.

"Okay." Jude exhales sharply, wetting his dry lips before asking. "This gift has something to do with our future?"

Connor looks at him for a long moment. Jude feels his heart beating so hard into his chest, as he waits for Connor's answer, that looks like he's about to explode in a matter of seconds.

Never in his life he's felt so nervous and Connor is a master of driving him crazy... this suspense is killing him.

Jude's sure he's about to faint and never know what the answer is going to be.

But when Connor finally breathes a feeble "Yes." Jude lets out a short intake of breath, his body moves on its own accord as he pulls Connor impossibly close, connecting their lips in a bruising kiss.  
Connor moans softly against his lips, surprised by the sudden attack of Jude's lips on his own. Not that he's complaining about it, though. He's on board.

"Jude.." Connor moans as he strokes his cheek with his thumb, finding wetness there. Jude's crying.

"No.. baby.." Connor coos at him with a soft voice, a smile tugging up his swollen lips.

"I love you." Jude cries out with bright smile on his face and voice filled with emotion. "I love you so much. Just so you know, _I'm on board._ Whatever that is.."


	5. Chapter 5

Both Jude and Taylor are sitting on the couch waiting for their boyfriends to come downstairs. They all refused to put presents under the tree because it would have ruined the suspense.

“Jude.” Taylor sighs for the tenth time in the last few minutes. “Calm down.”

“I can’t.” Jude manages to say between deep breaths. “I.. I can’t calm down. I want to, but I can’t. You’re probably gonna call 911 so keep your phone close, please.”

"Have I ever told you how dramatic you are?”

“Yes.”

“It’s gonna be okay.” Taylor says, leaning against Jude’s side.

Connor and Nick step into the room with thousand watt smile on their faces. Jude notices that Connor’s holding something in the palm of his hand, closed in a fist and starts hyperventilating.

“Jude.” Taylor says with encouragement filling her voice. “Do you want to go first?”

“Y-yeah.” Jude stutters as he stands up, reaching for the presents he’s gotten for Connor. He feels kind of intimidated, knowing what Connor’s present is, and showing up himself with something that’s definitely less impressive. There’s no doubt he’s gonna like it. Jude knows how to make Connor swoon, but he still feels like a sense of dissatisfaction as Connor rips off out the wrapping paper.

Connor’s left breathless, like literally, he stares open-mouthed at the box.

“You should open it.” Jude says with a small smile in his voice, “It’s even better out of the box.”

Connor looks up from the box to send a thankful deadpan glare to his boyfriend.

“Digital pictures frame.” Connor realizes. Jude gives a nod of his head as he crouches across from Connor, taking the item from Connor's shaky hands.

“Look.” He says, turning on the device. Connor lets out a soft gasp when photos of he and Jude starts scrolling through the screen.

Connor can’t take his eyes away from it. He smiles, giggles, gasps when photos of their childhood start filling the screen through spirals and mosaic filters.

“It’s beautiful.”

Jude feels a lot more relaxed when he sees the wide grin spreading across Connor’s features.

“Out first date..” Connor smiles when the picture was taken by Jude’s mom suddenly fills the screen. They were so awkward and new to all of this.

Connor suddenly starts laughing with head thrown backward when he sees a selfie that once Jude sent to him with a shirt that Connor has bought for him, once.

_“I’m gay and so is my boyfriend.”_

Connor looks down, meeting Jude’s sparkling eyes.

“I love it.”

“I’m glad.” Jude blushes.

“And I love you.”

They heard a loud 'awwwww' coming from Taylor, witnessing the scene with teary eyes.

Jude’s breathless but he still manages to say something. “I love you too, Connor.”

“So.. who’s next?” Taylor pipes in brightly. “Connor?”

Jude jerks around with face that screams ‘bloodshed.” To Taylor and the girl lets out an awkward snort.

“You’re right. I guess you need a break to recover from the emotion. Babe. You’re up.”

No one has noticed the emotional walking trainwreck that is Nick, in this moment, he’s actually sweating cold.

Taylor frowns at the sight of his boyfriend getting so worked up and asks what’s wrong. Nick takes a deep breath before shaking his head, a bashful laugh escaping his lips.

“I’m okay..”

Jude sits down next to Connor and takes his hand into his own.

“I’m very excited and nervous at this moment and.. I don’t want to screw this up.”

Taylor smiles softly as he pats the seat on the couch next to her. Nick shakes his head, cracking a nervous smile before... oh.

“Oh my God.”

Jude’s heart skips beats and throws one quick glance at Connor. The boy’s smiling looks relaxed and that sends Jude’s brain into short circuit.

He must know about this.

His gaze shifts to Taylor’s face and yes, as predicted, she’s absolutely freaking out. Her eyes are completely blown wide, looking down at the boy in the middle of his proposal. Jude can figure, from the way she’s gaping at air, that she must feel like the air has been kicked out of her lungs by the shock.

“Taylor.. “ Nick begins to say. “We’ve been knowing each other for three years now and I’m completely and hopelessly in love with you. I.. I can’t imagine living my life without you.”

Jude feels tears threatening to spill, happy tears. He’s happy for Taylor. Who would have known, Jude thinks, that they were going to get their proposal together. Jude’s more than happy to share this moment with Taylor.

Taylor cries as she nods and that doesn’t really surprise Jude as it should. Taylor’s been always the hopeless romantic that dreamed for his big, unforgettable moment and she’ll probably start with all the ‘we’re too young’ charade, later.. Jude knows she will. But love waits for no man or woman, after all.

Only when Nick pulls out the box, which probably caught by the emotion of the moment has pulled it out just after Taylor has said yes, Jude’s struck by a small, relevant detail.

The blue velvet box.

Connor congratulates with both of their friends and all the doubts flashing across his mind at the moment find the only answer he was dreading for.

“Thanks, man.” Nick mumbles against Connor’s shoulder.”I wouldn’t have done this without your help.

Jude’s heart sink at those words. He searches for Taylor’s gaze but she’s too occupied staring dreamily at the ring on her finger.

“I just kept if safe.” Connor smiles. “Nothing more than that.”

Jude.. Jude needs air.

“Jude?”

It’s silly and probably childish and yes, he’s probably also rude since he’s run away before congratulate himself with the soon-to-be- married but he refuses to cry in front of them.

He closes his eyes as he bursts out of the door, exhaling sharply when the cold breeze washes over his face.

He can’t think of anything, right now.

He’s spoiled to himself and to Connor, most part of the vacation just because of his unfounded doubts and fears.. how could he be so stupid?

God. He’s crying, once again.

Luckily, Jude thinks, it's snowing so his tears can possibly blend with snowflakes falling over his cheeks and forehead and maybe no one will notice that.. “You’re crying.”

Jude can’t turn around. He can’t humiliate himself more than he's already doing. Please. No.

“I’m fine.”

Connor won't let this go, in fact, Jude can hear his footstep getting closer, his breath getting shorter with each step he’s taking toward him.

“Jude. Talk to me.”

“I’m fine, Connor. I’m telling you..” Jude gasps when Connor’s hand grabs him by his forearm, turning him around.

“You’re not fine,” Connor says pleadingly and hurt. “You’re crying.”

“These? Oh..” Jude gives a low chuckle as he wipes away the tears. “Happy tears.”

“Don’t feed me this crap, Jude. I want to know, what the hell is wrong with you. What I’ve done to you.”

Nothing. Jude thinks. That’s the problem, but I could never blame you because It was me, who overreacted.. it was me that imagined things, it was ME that saw it all wrong.

Connor’s always been good in seeing right through Jude. What he thinks, what he feels.. so there’s no point in delay the inevitable, anymore.

“I’ve spotted the ring and..”

“You thought it was for you?”

Jude nods his head, unable to give life to all the words he wanted to say.

“Oh Jude..”

“Don’t.” Jude warns him with a sharp edge in his voice, suddenly pissed off. “Don’t treat me like a child.”

“I’m not.” Connor tells him, trying to reach for his hand. Jude doesn’t let him. He's Too angry with himself to let someone in, right now.

How could I be so delusional?

“I’m sorry.”

Connor really sounds as devastated as Jude, like his own heart has been ripped out of his chest at the thought of having unconsciously led Jude on for weeks.

“You shouldn't be sorry. You did nothing wrong. I just.. assumed."

"I wish you didn't see that ring." Connor breathes out with soft voice.

"I wish it was for me." Jude murmurs under his breath so softly that Connor hasn't probably heard him. He hopes he hasn't heard him. 

"What was that?"

Jude shakes his head as he says. "Nothing. Never mind. Let's go back inside."

He starts walking on his own, followed by his boyfriend that once again tries to explain himself..

"You have nothing to explain, Connor!"You were helping a friend out, that's all. It was me, stupid, professional jumper to conclusions, idiot ME that assumed wrong. It's not a big deal, please. let's go back inside and never talk about this again."

Connor looks at him for a long moment, his eyes tired and pleading Connor to just forget about this whole thing.

Connor doesn't want to, but he knows that pushing Jude has never led to something good.

He nods as to raise the white flag and Jude cracks a weak smile in return before they both join their friends in their celebrations.

He watches Jude cracking fake smiles and peeking at the food and realizes that's not the way he imagined to give Jude his present.

Not like this.

  
  
After thirteen hours of plane ride, they finally get home. Stef and Lena come to pick them up from the airport and it's funny, the parallels from they came to pick them up from the port.

They were happy and holding hands. This time they're both miserable and their hands are stubbornly clasped in the pockets of their jackets.

"Is everything okay?"

Jude nods a strained smile as he climbs into the car, his eyes immediately find Connor's who's still standing outside of the car.   
  
"You coming?"

"My dad's coming to pick me up." Connor replies shortly, without even looking up from his phone. 

"Oh." Jude gulps thickly, his chest suddenly aching. "You didn't tell me that."

Connor raises his eyebrow as to say 'You refused to talk to me throughout the whole trip.". 

 "Okay." 

"Okay." Connor repeats, looking away from Jude's hurt-filled eyes.

Jude hears his mom asking Stef. "What's happening?" Stef shakes her head, a look of worry flashing in her eyes as he watches the scene by the rear view mirror.

"I'll see you around, then.." 

Connor's eyes met Jude's and he swears he sees wetness forming at the corner of his eyes. "Bye, Jude."

 

They're too stubborn to call one another during the rest of the Christmas break. Jude doesn't know what Connor is feeling, but as far as he's concerned, Jude's a mess.

His moms actually push him under the spray of the shower after two days locked in his room, crying and watching depressing movies.

Being told by his moms that he stinks is enough of motivation to take a shower.

"I think he's done with me." Jude tells his moms one day.

"He's not." Stef says with firm voice like she's sure of this, more than anything. "He's just hurt."

"I'm hurt, too. You know what's the worst part?" 

"What?" Lena asks him, brushing her fingers through his son's hair. 

"I'm mad at myself for building my hopes up for something that was never going to happen."

"Now." Lena reminds him gently. "You should put yourself in Connor's shoes. He probably feels like he's been unintentionally leading you on,"

  
"He was just helping Nick and I.. I overreacted like I always do."

"Connor's a smart boy. He's probably leaving you some space."

"Should I leave him some space, too?"

Stef nods affirmatively. "I think you both need some space."

"Okay." Jude sighs. "I'll talk to him at school."

 

Days fly in the blink of an eye and Jude finds himself back at school.

His heart races on its beats when he finds Connor waiting for him outside of his room with his luggage.

Jude swallows down the knot forming in his throat at the sight of his beautiful boyfriend waiting for him.

Their eyes met and Jude couldn't refrain himself from running into his beloved arms. Connor closes his eyes, inhaling sharply through his nose as he pulls Jude impossibly close.

"I'm sorry."   
  
"Y-You have nothing to be sorry about. I-I ruined our vacation."   
  
"You didn't," Connor promises him with soft voice, his fingers threading through Jude's soft hair. "Can we talk?"

Jude nods as he pulls away to open the door of his room. Luckily his roommate hasn't shown up just yet, so they are left completely alone.

Connor sits down on the couch and Jude immediately curls himself up on his lap. Connor smiles knowingly when Jude lets out a relaxed sigh.

He's always told him that he looks like a cat like this. Connor doesn't mind though.

"I missed you."

"I Missed you too, Jude." Connor sighs. "I missed talking to you.. I..I don't want to spend one more day apart from you."  
  
"Me neither.." Jude buries his face against Connor's neck, breathing softly against the warm skin there. "I'm gonna marry you, some day. I.. I want you to get home to your husband and your kids and kiss them goodnight before tugging up under the covers with your husband.. every single night, and I want that man to be _me_."

"Jude.."

"I do." Jude smiles softly, holding back the sighs of contended that wants to escape from him. "You already know my answer."

"Good to know." Connor smiles, leaving a kiss on his forehead. 

They cuddle on the couch for an hour or so, just listening to each other's breathing a sharing soft kisses once in a while before Connor stands up. 

"Where are you going?!" 

Connor smiles as he reaches for something in the pocket of his jacket. 

"Do you want your Christmas present or not?" 

Jude's eyes glow up with joy as he sits down. "Yes!"

He kind of wants to kill Connor when he kneels down in front of him.

"Y-You're not.."

Connor shakes his head as he tells him. "When I do, I'll make sure you won't be able to talk for a week. I'll blow your mind and probably _you_ , too."

"Asshole." Jude smiles as he intertwines his fingers with Connor, raising his hand to his lips, leaving a soft kiss on each one of his knuckles.

"So.. when you asked me if my gift has something to do with our future, you assumed marriage.." 

"Yeah."

"It's something just as important but it's like a transition step that precedes a wedding."

Jude tilts his head to the side, looking down at his boyfriend's dorky smile.

"I don't get it."

Connor rolls his eyes, a soft laugh escaping his lips as he pulls out a tiny red sack.

"What's in there?"

"Just open it."

Jude bits his lips as he pulls at the strings of the sack. He frowns as he pulls out a key.

"A key?"

"Yeah." Connor smiles. "That's a key."

Jude frowns as he looks at the item with adorable confusion  flashing across his features. "To what?"

Connor takes a deep breath before saying, "I've saved enough money

for the last few years and I've found an apartment near the campus. I was thinking if you'd like to be my flatmate."

Jude's eyes grow wide. "L-Like.. Living together?"

Connor flashes the usual blinding smile that never fails to leave Jude completely breathless. "Yeah. That's the plan... I mean.. If you want to."

Connor lets out a loud gasp as soon as Jude throws himself into his arms, pushing him on his back onto the cold floor.

"That's a yes?"

Jude laughs breathlessly before pressing their lips together. "Yes!" 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. here we are at the end. 
> 
> Thank you for reading :)
> 
> (I'll fix the past tense in the first chapter as soon as I can.)

**Author's Note:**

> Every comment is always appreciated :) 
> 
> I'm on twitter: En_sky9  
> Tumblr: skyblue993


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